Words from a Scarecrows land.


Destruction Preventer.

THANK FUCK ITS FRIDAY. I don't mind Fridays, the day seems to pass by that little bit quicker despite the fact its only half a hour shorter (17:00 compared to 17:30). That half an hour less makes all the difference. Probably because when we reach 4:00 I can think "Thank god, its the last hour" rather than and hour and a half.

The weekend is upon me, but before that I guess I’ll talk about my feelings from today. Today, has been a good day indeed. One of my friends introduced me to someone last night and we've spent the entire day IMing each other. She's amazing. She's hot AND into several shows I am. So we have something we can really connect to. This has been a massive confidence boost for me. :)

Spent tonight with on of my close friends eating pizza and watching films. well, Game of Thrones S2E2 and Feast 1. I met him a few months before Christmas. I count him amongst my closest friends, he's been good to me, despite the fact he's nearly twice my age lol (42 compared to 22 lol). So a good night was had.

I think one of the best ways for me to get over what happened to me is to keep having good experiences like this.  Tomorrow my new phone powers up and I get to play with it. Hurrah

Well tonight has been good, so I won't recount how I’ve been feeling these last few months because I don't want to spoil the night. My weekend will be spent mostly RPing and trying not to fall asleep while doing so.

Good night all.


(\i realise that in all essence this was posted on the 14th of april Rather than the 13th. so fuck you lol)

The Point of Know Return

Soooo, day four.

I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days. I'm not sure why, though I suspect that last night was due to finishing The Word Bearers Omnibus that night. My mind has a tendency to digest things, especially when playing RTS games. My mind will find every conceivable way to finish the mission while trying to fall asleep. So I don't tend to leave a mission half finished.

I left work at 6 today despite my contracted hours being 8:30 till 5:30. It was a very busy day at work and we had some orders left over at the end to pack and despatch. I honestly don't mind, except when I have something to do like seeing friends, staying late. It means I see a definite end and don't have to think about what else is to come. Besides, dinner is for resting at the halfway point.

Gonna go to bed in about 20 mins, and try to get a good nights sleep. If not, friday night becuase i don't have to be up early saturday.

Night all.

Pay day tommorow.

Carolus Rex
I guess I should mention that wednesdays updates are 99% of the time going to be very short. I roleplay with the second of my roleplay groups. Good times are always had.

Work was busy. More so than yesterday, but nothing that can't be handled.

All in all my mood is good.

Night all. :)

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Ever Dream

So here goes day 2 of my journal.

I suppose I’d better tell you a bit more about myself. I'm a 6'2" 16st lanky twat. I'm not a proper cunt or anything I’m just snarky at times. I'm a metal-styled nerd/geek of high calibre. I'm into my Role-play, War-gaming, Books, movies, Historical re-enactment and Writing.

Especially the writing.

I've been writing for a good long time now, although my writing habits have steadily declined into a mere trickle of what they were before. I tend to write in the sci-fi and fantasy genres (remember my above comments). though occasionally i delve into the realms of character drama and crime. 

I'm proud of my style and hobbies, why wouldn't I be? I'd much rather go out on a Saturday night and dungeon crawl with my friends than get drunk and not remember the night before. I'd like to remember throwing a battle axe into the face of a VERY surprised Manticore, killing it in the process (true story).

So onto today.

Today was the first day back to work after the Easter 4 day weekend. I had fully expected it to be busier than it was. which was kind of a pleasant surprise I suppose. I get far too much time to think at work, so this is why my craziness begun. My mind wandered and eventually came to the conclusion that I wasn't good enough. I genuinely lost every last bit of faith I had in myself and genuinely hated myself.

It has been a black few weeks.

Several times I crawled back from the brink. Burned away the mire as such. However, every time it seemed to come back stronger. Sometimes I had thoughts I wasn't proud of. Tall buildings looked more appealing. and I actually willed myself to die several times.

Didn't work, or I wouldn't be writing this.

So yeah...shit way to feel.

Things have been better today, a pleasant end to the working day coupled with meeting up with my brother for a drink afterwards put me into a good mood. A jolt on Skyrim, then crackdown 2 and the day is complete. I'm just tired, didn't get much sleep tonight, something to do with the (badly mixed) white Russian I had an hour before bed.

Well, I think I’ll leave it there, just going to have an early night and get some sleep.

Take care all, good night


When the WIld Wind Blows.
(Why yes, I am listening to Iron Maiden, why do you ask?)

Right. Where do I begin.

On this day (9/4/12) and for the next full year. I shall try to keep this diary nearly everyday. I need to keep a track of my life from here on in. I'll be honest, I have felt like shit for a good few weeks now. I'll admit i'm somewhat at fault here, me and my girlfriend of nearly three years mutually, and on good terms, broke up at the beginning of the year. Then had another girl break my heart which sent me into a spiral of confidence issues and crazy.

But, I'm trying to overcome these feelings. I can't be like this forever.


So here begins a year of recording my life. My feelings, my fears, my highs, and my lows. This journal is more for my sake than anyone else, so it doesn't matter if nobody reads it.

So for now, Good night people.




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